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You Lose Yourself, and That's OK

by Ian Hawgood

Tokyo Snow 01:39
Modulations 01:55
Loss 01:11
Her Kindness 01:16


Recorded in August 2018 in a barn in Tiveden, Sweden.


At some point in summer 2004, I was in a bar in London with two friends. I'd been making music for a while but only given minidiscs and cassettes to friends of original work, not keeping anything myself. I suddenly blurted out that I wanted to make an album to my friend Cisco there that night that he would do the art for.

The next morning, I got up early and took the train to my parents house in south London. I promptly spent around 19 hours recording the family piano while my mum popped in and out, my dad listened quietly to the radio upstairs, and our two dogs wandered around. It was the first music I ever produced for friends and family in a physical package and was the beginning of a different approach to music for me.

The equipment used included a Sony ECM microphone, a four track recorder and one of those lovely DD pedals by Boss.

In August 2018 we were in Tiveden national park Sweden to celebrate the wedding of that same friend, Cisco, and his wife Lydia. We stayed on a small farm that had a barn with a warped piano.

I happened to be carrying a DD pedal with me, a small mic and two-track tape recorder and decided to just record randomly before and after the wedding. I was joined by the owners here and there as I gently played, alongside a few guests (animal and human) from the rooms. It was such a peaceful and connected short time to spend, just playing without a thought as to what my hands were doing.

I came across these just last night and decided it was the perfect release as it was - with all the piano and background noise in place just as it was when I created these pieces live.

This is for Cisco. Thanks bud.


released August 7, 2020

All music by Ian Hawgood
Photography by Stijn Hüwels

copyright © 2020 Ian Hawgood


all rights reserved



folk reels Brighton, UK

hello. my name is ian. i make music.

i am a member of observatories (IIKKI, Dauw, Quiet Details), Rosales (Archives, Pyramid Blood), Monogoto (12k, Polar Seas), Slow Reels (Morr Music), Lantscap (Infraction), Black Elk Quartet, Rion, Modular Sleep Patterns and more.

thank you
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